As I was driving yesterday morning I pulled out onto the highway, even though I saw that a car was coming my way. I had plenty of time to get out into the road before the driver got to where I was. After I entered the highway, the driver of the other car quickly sped right up to my car, leaned on his horn, and stuck his middle finger in the air. He was NOT a friend saying, “Hi!” Feeling somewhat hurt and angry at this open display of his IQ, I thought, “doesn’t he understand that I’m in a hurry, the traffic was heavy, and this was my only chance to pull out without possibly having to wait for another THIRTY seconds?”
Later the same day, I was moving along comfortably at maybe five miles-per-hour over the speed limit. Music of “Fleetwood Mac” was playing on my car radio. Suddenly a pickup truck pulled out of a side road, right in front of me. I had to slow down to allow him room. I was immediately filled with “road rage”. “How DARE he pull in front of me like that? Doesn’t he understand that I have places to go and people to see, and he should have waited until I passed?” I resisted the urge to use the horn or the finger, because I knew what it felt like when they were used on me. But I thought about it.
Two or three things come to mind when I relate such a simple and quite common experience. One is that, NO, WE DON’T realize what the other person’s situation is. We know what WE are going through. We know how noble OUR motives are, but we’re quick to pass judgment on the other guy. “Don’t judge me by my actions- look at my sincere intentions.” But then it’s so easy to judge others by their actions as we interpret them. When it comes to driving (and a lot of other things) I’m “just trying to get where I’m going.” The other guy is a full-fledged idiot.
Another point, nothing really profound, is that we really ARE usually in too big of a hurry. With all our computers and cell phones and “Tivo”, our super highways and drive-thru meals and video games, are we really getting more done? Are our lives happier? Are our relationships better with family and friends and community and God? Do we know others better, love them more, and spend more time with them than before we bought all this stuff? Do we even know ourselves better?
You and I probably don’t like the fact that the most important things in life really do take a lot of time. George Harrison used to sing, “I really want to see you, Lord, but it takes so long, my Lord.” I think I can relate to that. But what do our lives really mean if we don’t value these things enough to give the necessary time and attention? Praying, study, and change are hard work, even with divine help. I have sought many times for a “short cut” to spirituality. So far, no luck!
Sitting at the Fairhope pier one evening, I heard a man telling someone that he was taking the evening to spend time with his children. For fifteen minutes I watched him “spend time” with them. The entire time he was talking to somebody else- on a cell phone attached to his head. I’m sure the man meant well, but I felt sad for the kids.
I have some friends who are never able to talk with me without constant cell-phone interruptions. I really miss them a lot, even when I’m with them.
Pardon my nostalgia, but I really miss the days when mom or dad read a story to us. I miss hearing my dad tell me about when he was in the army, or about his dog, or when he caught that big fish, or about his mother making him a quilt. I miss ghost stories, and Bible stories, and shaped-note music and “hide and seek”. I miss just sitting down to talk on the porch, listening to the crickets and looking at the stars. I miss what life was like when we interacted with people, discussed ideas, debated and reasoned things out. I miss clean jokes. I miss learning to respect authority. I miss learning to speak English without inserting “like” into every sentence.
I do not think of myself as an “old-fashioned” guy, but I guess in some ways I am. When I was growing up we talked to real people, ate real food, played real games, kissed real girls, breathed real air, enjoyed and endured real families. We walked nearly everywhere, and when we rode, we didn’t wear seat belts. And we lived to tell about it.
My cause of dismay is simply that there isn’t anybody to tell. Now that we have gathered some hard experience, and have gained a little wisdom along the way, is there anybody out there who will unplug the gadgets long enough to listen? Must wisdom and knowledge compete with video games, computers, ipods, and such? Is this cultural “A.D.D.” taking away from us most of what really matters? Does everything have to happen instantly? If it doesn’t should we get out of the way before we get “the finger”?
Excuse me. I’d love to talk more, but, like, my cell phone’s like playing a tune. I think it’s “As Time Goes By”.
Christmas time is here again, and whatever our background or beliefs or financial status, we always make a huge big deal out of it, starting months ahead of the time, with millions of parties and presents and decorations and songs. We plan to spend a lot of money, see a lot of people, eat a lot of food, and hope and pray that all will go well in the home and on the job, so that this year we will have a good and memorable and merry Christmas.
All of us really do try hard to make sure that our hopes, and those of our children and families, are fulfilled on this greatest celebration of the year. Sometimes they are. Many times they are not. But most of us do all we can to try to make it work for us. Of course, whatever we plan for and expect, there are some things that will turn out to be vastly different from what we planned.
In thinking about this, it occurs to me that the first Christmas, whenever it was, was not as it was expected to be. I do believe that God above had planned it very carefully to be exactly what it was. But then, even as now, most of us don’t quite get what he was trying to show us.
He has a penchant for using the most unlikely instrument to convey the most unexpected message. Many times the priests and preachers and religious experts must step aside while God speaks through something or somebody that, if we were God, we would never choose. He will speak at a time and in a place and in a way that will often shock or surprise many of us. One thing I have learned is that God is unpredictable and uncontrollable. He cannot be bribed, manipulated, or pressured. He will do as he wills, and that is fine with me. (It will have to be!) As the Narnia stories say of Aslan- He is always “good”, but never “safe.”
When He reached out to communicate with us, to show us what he is really like and how he wants us to be, he didn’t send a book of instructions or a tape or a CD. Strange and incredible as it sounds, he came as a human baby. We expected him to come in strength and power, but he came in weakness. We expected him to come to a royal mansion or a great temple, but he came to a feeding trough in a horse barn.
When we expected him to give us answers, he asked us questions. We expected a great military leader, but we got a gentle and peaceful man. We expected a rich king, but we got a humble rabbi who taught us to serve. We expected him to look down on the sinful and the guilty, but he embraced them and accepted them as his friends. We expected him to be very strict, but we found him to be very forgiving.
We thought that he would wear a crown of jewels, but instead he wore a crown of thorns. We thought that he would be very angry, but instead we saw the tears he shed. We expected more rules, more requirements, and more religion. Instead we got grace.
On that first Christmas, we didn’t get a thing that we expected. But (to follow the divine pattern of using the most unlikely source) I will remind us that even the Rolling Stones told us, “you can’t always get what you want- but if you try sometimes- you just might find- you get what you need.”
I will admit it’s not exactly a Christmas song, but maybe it should be! On this Christmas, laugh and sing and dance and celebrate, and be very glad, because we got what we needed!