Since all of us want to be “happy”, I think that maybe it’s time for me to tell you what works for me. I am fully aware that a lot of very smart people have given some very good answers as to their “formulas” for happiness. For a time, I bought into some of them. I am also aware that I am surely not the most successful example of a person who is completely happy or consistently happy. But I still find that this will work for me, if only I will apply it.
My prescription for happiness, in a nutshell, is this: (1) honesty, (2) brokenness, (3) acceptance of grace, (4) humility, (5) gratefulness, (6) joy!
Here is the good part: once you really get the first one, you dont even have to remember the others. They will follow in a natural progression as God works in your life. But the first one is really hard for us. After that, the only other one that we need help with is number three.
Here’s how it proceeds: First, I have got to be brutally honest with myself about myself. There was recently a TV program in which the contestant could have won a lot of money just for being honest. After honestly admitting some really bad things, she blew it when she said that she thought of herself as “a good person.” The lie detector knew better than she did.
I must be willing to see the truth - that I am NOT a good person, I have not always done right, and I am still to this date a wretch of a sinner with nothing good to offer to God or to anybody. My motives are flawed, I am selfish and self-centered, I am disgustingly weak, and if I ever do anything good at all I am so ridiculously proud of it that my “righteousness” stinks more than my sinfulness! For those who think that I am overstating this point- I am not. Some will say that I am “self-loathing” or “beating myself up.” No, I am just trying to be honest. There is One who is good, and it sho’ ain’t me!
It was a sad but wonderful day when I first realized that all I ever had to offer to God was a worthless and shameful mess that I had made of my life. Today, it can be an equally wonderful day if I will admit that the same thing is still true!
Once I have been brutally honest about my sinfulness, it will bring brokenness. I will be genuinely sorry and ashamed of myself.
Then and only then I will have become a candidate for grace- amazing, undeserved, unconditional, unlimited, free grace! Grace will never make sense to us. It is too preposterous and extreme for us, but it is our only real hope. Tillich put it something like this: you will hear from inside of you a voice that says, “you are accepted! In spite of all you have done, you are accepted! You don’t have to do anything. Just accept the fact that you are accepted, you are forgiven, you are wanted, you are loved!” More than anything else, this is what I believe God is trying to communicate to us. Grace, not performance, is truly the foundation of a happy life.
From there it is easy to see that acceptance of grace will produce humility. We do not have to protect our image or our reputation, because we know the truth about ourselves. Radio personality Dave Ramsey, when asked by callers how he is doing, always says, “better than I deserve!” Yeah, Dave, me too, brother.
Humility is naturally followed by a strong sense of gratefulness and thankfulness, when we realize we are continually receiving and enjoying so much more than we could ever expect, so much better than we deserve. We begin to really appreciate all the good things going on around us, all the people in our lives, all the nice things we have. We don’t worry about somebody who has more or nicer “stuff.” We start to verbally express our overwhelming thankfulness to God, and our amazement at all that has been freely given us in spite of our unworthiness !
From there, I think that it is a very short and natural step to genuine happiness.That’s it- honesty which produces brokenness which opens us up to grace, which will bring humility followed by gratefulness and joy.
Thank you for taking time to consider this. I wish for you abundant happiness, and hope that this will help you as it has helped me.
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