If you have read the parable called “A Tale of Two Churches”, this article says essentially the same thing. I have become so “turned off” by manipulation (especially in the name of Christ) that I can smell the stink of it a mile away. Once I told God that any time it happens I would walk out! I’ll leave it to you to figure out that God probably walked out before I did. But anyhow, here is “tale of two churches” put in more straightforward form:
Many times in my life it has been a delightful experience to go to church. The laughter and tears, the truth we build our lives upon, the joyful and uplifting music, the friendships and the opportunity for spiritual growth—all these things and more can make going to church a very rewarding experience.
Nevertheless, something wrong, abusive, and anti-Christian is regularly practiced inside the walls of many of our churches and religious institutions. Sure, you can also find it in other places, but it is particularly offensive to me at church, since it is so contrary to the basic truths we believe in. I hope that we will at least recognize it and try to put a stop to it wherever it is found. Frankly, it is the reason why many people stop attending, and if I ever walk out the door of church never to return except in a box, it will be because of this.
The subject I am talking about is “manipulation.” I have done it myself, I’m sad to say, and I have had it done to me. Manipulation is an attempt to get others to do what we think they should do, even if they don’t really want to do it. In spite of our good religious motives, it is a wrongful act of control upon others. It is contrary to grace, incompatible with freedom, disrespectful of human dignity, and diametrically opposed to love.
Sometimes a person in leadership is under pressure to “get results”, making it a huge temptation to resort to this practice. There are many fine churches where manipulation is avoided, but I have included a few examples of manipulation that, alas, may sound oh so familiar:
“After all that the Lord has done for you, can’t you at least come back for the evening service?”
“ Don’t you want God to bless your finances? How can He if you don’t tithe?”
“ Send in all you can, and He will give you all you need!” (Oh, by the way- you’re giving to God, but make the check out to us, at our address!)
“Your mother will be so proud of you when you join the church!”
“ Aren’t you ashamed wearing those old clothes when everybody else is dressed nice?”
“GOD TOLD ME that you’re supposed to do this!”
“Our class hasn’t won the attendance banner all year. This is embarrassing!”
“ I talked to a man about his decision. He put it off for one more day, and got killed in a car wreck! It could happen to you, so don’t wait!”
“ All of you who will promise to come back again tomorrow night, stand up!”
“We can’t be a hundred percent unless everybody gets here on time and studies the lesson and brings an offering!”
“They say that hell is a thousand times hotter than a furnace. Do you want to go there? Do you want others to go there? “
“Don’t you think God is ashamed of this old carpet, these bad lights, and this old building?”
“Everybody else is coming to the altar to pray. Aren’t you going to join them? What will they think of you?”
“God has been faithful to you; so won’t you be faithful to Him by coming to all the services?”
“What are you going to say when you stand before God and He looks at your checkbook?”
I’m sure that you could add others to this list. Instead of joyful motivation, the appeal is to fear, or pride, or shame, or competition, or guilt, or greed. Loving God is equated, not with how we treat our fellow man, but with how involved we are in the institutional church. The worst part of all of this crass manipulation in churches is that it hurts and abuses our most vulnerable and trusting people. They even get the idea that God endorses manipulation, when in fact He hates it.
Most of us are starving to be accepted and loved as we are, even with all our flaws and sins and inconsistencies. I believe that if we can find that, we will WANT to come to church! And eventually we might even get better. Meanwhile, beware the manipulators.
Leave a Reply